Scotch Missed?

The big news for the people of Scotland at the moment is the fact they will soon get to vote for or against independence from Great Britain. For those reading this outside the UK, it’s a bit like Texas voting to leave the United States, but with fewer vegetables.

In Scotland the vote is seen either as being ‘long overdue’ or ‘turn the lights out, I’m leaving’. Depending who you speak to in England it’s a chance to eliminate an annoying weed or to encourage a wild plant to bloom and blossom. Things in the UK garden are really hotting up.

It seems that Scotland’s First Minister, Alex Salmond, wants his bit of the garden fenced off. He would like to be able to have his own budgets, planting seasons and stock control, and to take care of any pests and bugs himself. But the debate amongst Scots now is whether this will also mean watching the Flower Of Scotland ultimately shrivel from lack of care, leaving more manure than thriving seedlings.

As a Scot living in London I won’t get a vote, which seems to me to be the right thing as, whatever the decision, I won’t have to live with the consequences. I’m not going to turn in to a hectoring old granddad like Sean Connery who tells everyone what’s good for them while sipping cocktails under a parasol in the Tropics and waiting for a passing yacht, rather than downing Bovril under an umbrella in icy Edinburgh while waiting for trams that will probably never come.

The arguments are well rehearsed for and against Scottish independence. To sum up badly, for the pros it’s about history and John Knox, battles, perceived subjugation and tradition, for the antis it’s simply rooted in the worry that the finances just won’t work. If they needed campaign songs one side would have Abba’s ‘I Have A Dream’ whilst the others would opt for ‘S.O.S.’ The chants of ‘Take A Chance On Me’ will compete with ‘Money Money Money’ while cynical folk south of the border will roll their eyes and say it’s the usual case of ‘Gimme Gimme Gimme’ again.

As a media native I wondered this week what would happen with the BBC. They’re the BRITISH Broadcasting Corporation after all and therefore can’t stay in an independent Scotland that’s not part of Britain. They exist in Wales and Ulster but don’t have a presence in Ireland other than through subscription TV or Freeview boxes. So, do they pack up and go, leaving behind a huge building and putting hundreds out of work? I asked some broadcasting friends this on Facebook this week and the answer is...no one knows, although one pal, Julian, who works with the BBC’s lawyers, suggested Scotland will go back to its Calvinist roots with black and white TV pictures and talent shows like Opportunity Knox. Nice one Julian.

And what happens if those who vote against independence want to leave Scotland? As the country will no longer be part of Britain or the European Community (it will have to wait for that) will they need to apply for immigration status to move to England? Will we have customs officers at Gretna Green looking for stowaways hiding under Barrs Irn Bru lorries?

About three months ago I had dinner with a very nice lady who runs her family business from headquarters in Scotland. It so happens that the business bears her surname and is a worldwide, huge, multi million pound success. She told us at the beginning of the meal that if independence goes ahead she will move her headquarters abroad. By the end of dinner, after people had put their varying views, she wasn’t so sure.

So, there will be a lot of uncertainty and heart searching. There are many imponderables and it’s probably a time to sit back and let the politicians convince us one way or the other. The vote is in two years time, and that’s a lot of weeks of smiley politicians smarming us all to convince us they have the right answers.

But we will have to grin and bear it. The decision is too important to get wrong.